What happens when we want to ask someone a question? The first question we must ask ourselves before asking the other person is, “What is the purpose of asking this question?’
Perhaps we lose focus on the purpose of our question. Sometimes we are deceiving in the way we ask questions. Sometimes we don’t want to know the truth, but what we are going to do with whatever answer we get.
Example:
“How may I help you?” Is this question designed to find out how we can actually help someone or is this question designed for us to make a sale or look caring or to take advantage of the other person, or to break a silence, or to say something for the sake of saying something? If the question is designed to find out how you can be of assistance, then we will approach that person with the proper tone and demeanor (controlled by our subconscious mind). When a question is being asked for the sake getting the truth, then that question will receive its true answer. Should there be any other motives behind the question, then sooner or later it will come out like a leaky pen through a white shirt pocket.
Ultimately, are we asking a question to get THE answer or A answer?
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I would even go further and ask myself if I already know the answer to the question I'm about to pose.
ReplyDeleteGood point!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your post what struck me was the following sentence “…to break a silence, or to say something for the sake of saying something.” To me a conversation is a chance to get to know the other person and in that process to get to know myself. I say this to shows that it means a lot to me to communicate with someone. To me sometimes the most important part of the conversation is the silence and peace that follows. I have no resistance to silence whatsoever because either I have something to say or I don’t have anything to say. It’s true that often we feel uncomfortable for the other person because they seem to be in an awkward situation, but that’s irrelevant and it’s a whole different topic, etc. What is wrong with just enjoying each other’s company in silence? After all we have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
ReplyDeleteWe as humans have been conditioned from childhood that a conversation requires talking. We are not used to having silence during a conversation and assume that silence is an indication of misunderstanding, confusion, etc. etc. etc... Being comfortable with silence is related to spiritual maturity. And, it requires complete presence. Once must be very present and in tune with that moment in order to be comfortable with silence in the presence of another person.
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